01. Rule 1: Always, always understand the value of consent! If she’s not in the mood, back off!
Rule 2: Always remember rule 1.
02. Don’t restrict foreplay to only kissing her breasts and clit. Areas like the nape of her neck, the arch of her back, inner thighs are also equally sensitive as they have nerve endings. Alternate between each of these areas for maximum pleasure.
03. According to a study done by the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada: cuddling after sex is as important to a woman’s pleasure as foreplay, as it enhances a woman’s pleasure by 30%! So if you want to make sex a regular part of your life, hold her close instead of turning over and dozing off!
04. According to a study conducted across 12,000 men, those who reported to be having a regular sex life (at least twice a week) were 45% less likely to have a cardiac arrest than those who were sex-starved. Making the connection, are you?
05. “I love a man who isn’t afraid and insecure of sex toys! Actually, it’s quite a turn-on. Use them on me, and then at the last moment switch my toy with yours. Now that’ll be hot!” says Aarohi, 29.
06. Here’s how to take your sex level from average to blockbuster—when going down on her, don’t choose between your fingers and your mouth. Put your index (and middle) finger in her and gently do the ‘come hither’ gesture with your fingers while licking her clit. Remember—it takes two to tango!
07. Kiss her neck while she’s looking at herself in the mirror and slowly undress her. Research proves that women, much like men, respond to sexual imagery well. Watching herself, and you kissing her all over, will turn her on in no time.
08. Here’s your big cue—if she moves while you’re going down on her, or using your fingers, continue doing just that. “In this case, she’s adjusting her body to where your touch feels most explosive,” says Clinical Sexologist Uta Demontis. Same speed, same momentum, status quo!
09. “I hate having sex quietly, as if we’re both dead,” says Ambika, 31, CFO of a retail organisation. “I’m not expecting you to scream and shout, but tell me that you want me, tell me what you would like me to do…make me feel that you’re invested.” A little chit-chat goes a long way.
10. Bring your tongue to good use and stimulate her using the sides of your tongue, “or the underside,” suggests sexologist Emily Dubberley. This will increase the excitement.
11. When doing doggy style, keep your movements short and shallow, instead of deep and fast. Let her make the most of those nerve endings.
12. Contrary to popular opinion, a woman’s G-spot is not a point, but more like an entire area. And unlike the clit which loves stimulation, this baby enjoys direct pressure. Curl your hand in a C shape, with your thumb facing down, and use that to enter her. Once in, put pressure in the whole area for 3-5 seconds, then release. Repeat!
13. Remind her of how hot she is, and send her a dirty message in the middle of the day. Follow it up with a series of texts explaining what you’ll exactly do to her when you two meet. Keep it sexy and she’ll be ready to jump you the moment you see her.
14. Mints = fresh breath = absolutely important.
15. Never ever underestimate the power of a quickie. “Some quick action when I’m least expecting it is one of the biggest turn-ons,” says Nupur, 28, graphic designer.
16. “It’s been proven that women who feel confident about the appearance of their genitals are more open to different kinds of sexual activity, and are more likely to orgasm because they feel relaxed…When a man goes down on his partner, he should be enthusiastic and not treat it like a chore,” says Dr. Debra Lynne Herbenick, Ph.D., Indiana University.
17. Take your time to undress, suggests Behaviour Therapist Andrea Kuszewski. “Let her work for it a little; she’ll enjoy the prolonged neurological orgasm more.”
18. “Going straight to sex without any foreplay at all is downright disgusting,” thinks Kanika, 31.
19. Touch & glow! Dr. Carol Cassell, former President of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality can’t stop raving about the effects of sensual touching. “It releases a powerful sex hormone called oxytocin, which increases a woman’s testosterone levels and ignites her sex drive.”
20. “A Harvard sturdy found out that when you hug a woman longer than 30 seconds, it increases her oxytocin levels and anticipation of sex,” says Dr. Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman.
21. Sexy shower, anyone? You and your girl, naked under running warm water…need we say more?
22. Take cues—some women may feel shy to tell you exactly what they want, but she will always drop subtle hints. Notice how she kisses your earlobe and do the exact same thing to her—same pressure, same moves.
23. Here’s some bad news: research says that while most men thrust only between three and seven minutes, that’s not enough as women take longer to reach an orgasm. The answer, though, lies in thrusting the right way. As psychologist Dr. Massimo Stocchi explains— “Thrust towards her G-spot. Press your body down, not towards her. This will squeeze your urethra, which helps delay ejaculation.”
24. Lube it up. According to a research in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, adding lubrication to your condom will help you last longer. Repeat after us: the wetter, the better!
25. For the uninitiated, flicking the bean isn’t a one way road. Simply licking it up and down wouldn’t give you (or her) the result you’re both looking for. “Move over the clitoris from left to right and in circles,” says Demontis. “The nerve endings aren’t evenly distributed,” so the more creative you are, the better it is.
26. Eat right—stick with foods rich in arginine. Think fish, eggs, dairy, beans, soy foods, nuts and seeds. As Dr. Lynn Elden-Nezin, co-author of Great Food, Great Sex says, “everything that’s good for you above the waist is good for you below the waist as well.”
27. Ask and you shall receive. Ask what a woman wants in bed. “I would advise that you ask her while not in the bedroom—raise the discussion while you’re out walking or doing some other casual yet intimate thing together,” says Dr. Helen Fisher, Department of Anthropology, Rutgers University.
28. “A lot of men approach oral sex as an act of foreplay,” says Kerner. “But direct clitoral stimulation might not feel good at the start of sex.” The solution—start with kissing, slowly building it to caressing, fondling and working through her body. And as we’ve told you before, women love clitoral stimulation and they’re a sure-fire way to orgasm. Kerner also suggests that you bring your A-game and make it the final destination, instead of just being a stop along the way.
29. Both you and your partner make a list of seven things you’d like the other person to do to you in bed. Take turns to take out one chit each per head every night. Best week of your life, guaranteed!
30. Remember—it’s not a race of who finishes first. Take your time.
31. Watch porn together. Nifty tip: go down on her while you’re both watching. Within no time, she’ll be returning the favour.
32. Another great idea to turn her on—smell! Spritz your cologne on your bedsheets, so she can smell you, even when you’re sitting a few feet away.
33. “Most men assume that women would have no fantasies, and that we would be too shy to talk. A bit shy, yes, but you need to know how to get it out of us,” says Priyanka, 32, merchandiser.
34. Men, understand this well: while (all) women are open to trying new things; if she’s saying no to a certain position, or going down on you and sounds firm, let.it.go. There’s no point in forcing her to do anything to fulfil your fantasy. Plus, if she’s not excited, the act will be super painful for her.
35. “At least 75% of women need clitoral stimulation to reach an orgasm,” says sex coach Joanna Benfield. So, make it work.
36. Sex in the shower is fun. But you know what’s even more fun. Sex in the tub. Draw a bath for her (when possible), and lose inhibitions under water.
37. Don’t overdo it, just because you want to get off! Don’t be a drilling machine…it’s alright if she comes before you. Be generous and giving.
38. Sexologist Beverly Whipple’s words of wisdom—“Find out what position of intercourse is most stimulating to her—it’s usually woman on top, facing the other way, also known as reverse cowgirl. The angle of the penis through the front wall of the vagina stimulates the area of the G-spot.”
39. Like everything else in life, stress can spoil this too! “Stop thinking, ‘I hope its works!’ and avoid making intercourse the be all/end all. Take penetrative sex off the table for a month—do everything but that! Chances are, you’ll make it work once you’re not stressing over it,” says Dr. Emily Wentzell of Iowa University.
40. Netflix and chill through the weekend. Pop culture just made it super easy to hook up while binge-watching shows.
41. According to a new study done by the Oregon State University, having regular sex makes your work life better. Being satisfied in bed leads to a better mood and therefore more productivity at your job.
42. Sext it right. Sexting is a big responsibility. Your messages have to walk the tight rope of being sensual without coming off as inappropriate. Hold on to that #dickpic, and instead, remind her of the last time she came on to you and how you absolutely loved it. Encouragement increases the chance of a repeat performance.
43. Blindfold her so she doesn’t know what to expect next. Every kiss and touch will be a surprise, which will make the anticipation even more exciting.
44. Because no one likes boredom! “Be daring and spontaneous,” says sexologist Emily Morse. “What matters is the thrill of new places and new moves to go with them.”
45. A quickie doesn’t just have to be quick action. Quickies can be make-out sessions; hot, teasing oral sex; or 15 minutes with a vibrator. You choose.
46. Say it like you mean it. No, this doesn’t mean that you start professing your love for the woman you’re with right in the middle of the act. But most women like to hear that you’re having a good time with them. A compliment here can go a really long way…trust us on that.
47. “A good, slippery, long-lasting lube is so important,” opines Dr. Patti Britton, Ph.D, clinical sexologist and co-founder of SexCoachU.com. “If your finger is dry and she’s not amply aroused, which she won’t be at this point, it can be painful—and one uncomfortable misstep is all it takes to shut her down.”
48. Don’t hide your stash of porn. Instead, watch it with your girl. Most women agree that watching porn together is an intimate act and would get them aroused. Sexologist Shan Boody, has a handy tip: “Cue up the videos in advance, to know what your favourites are…and then debrief on what you liked—and didn’t like.” Steamy sex, guaranteed!
49. This just in: missionary doesn’t have to mean plain vanilla. Spice things up a notch by asking her to close her legs once you’ve entered her. This will create extra friction, and more friction equals mind-blowing sex.
50. If you love her breasts, tell her! There’s no better aphrodisiac than a hot compliment. Don’t just trust us…try it for yourself!
51. “For a woman to really get aroused, the parts of her brain associated with outside stress and anxiety need to deactivate,” says Dr. Kerner. So make an effort and get relaxed. Create an ambience…mood lighting and scented candles FTW.
52. 9:1—that’s the ideal ratio for the speed of your thrusts, as per Dr. Demontis. It’s the first couple of centimetres of a woman’s vagina that are the most sensitive. “Give them your complete attention with nine shallow thrusts, followed by one deep thrust.”
53. Make it count. Sex therapists over the world have scientifically proven that the ideal duration for sex (without taking foreplay into account) is between seven to 14 minutes.
54. You’ve obviously flicked the bean with your tongue and your fingers. Ever tried doing that your penis? Try it when you’re erect while touching her, or even in the middle of sex. Use your head and rub it on her clit.
55. Keep your stash handy— “I hate it when me and my boyfriend are getting all hot and horny, and then he moves away and fidgets to find the condom…annoying!” says Smriti, 29. Don’t be that guy.
56. Tidy up—while a beard is okay, being all shaggy isn’t all That appealing.
57. Make a (long) list of songs you both like to get her in the mood.
58. Like clitoral stimulation, even intercourse doesn’t have to be restricted to unidimensional moves. Instead of always moving up and down inside her, induce variety by moving in circles, side-to-side or by varying pace.
59. Take notes from sexologist Stephen de Wit. “For a lot of women, breasts are an area of great pleasure, but it’s not an understood thing for men because we don’t have breasts—a lot of the information we learn is from the media and from porn.” The point he’s trying to make—focus your attention on the twins and give them the attention they deserve.
60. Ever licked ice-cream? Well, that’s exactly how you need to deal with her when you go down south.
61. Like your work life, give and take constructive feedback between the sheets as well!
62. Remember the golden rule—hands, mouth, penis. In that order!
63. “I’d just like to say just one word—clitoris!” says Saloni, 29, stylist.
64. According to aroma therapist Kathleen Duffy, “sweating enhances the production of pheromones, chemicals designed by the body to attract and arouse the best mate. So amplifying your unique scent through sweating will turn her on faster.”
65. Try the Cuban plunge position—sit on your knees while you’re on top, and ask her to curl her legs around your shoulders. This will help elongate her vagina and you can penetrate deeper.
66. Understand that no two women are the same. While your ex loved bondage, your current girlfriend may not be so inclined. What one woman likes may not click with the other. Whenever you’re with someone new, get to know their body, as well!
67. On that note, never compare your partners! That’s nothing short of a cardinal sin.
68. Cut the hype around 69, and instead take turns to pleasure each other. None of the partners are able to reach maximum potential during 69 and it becomes more of an act. Instead, go slow and steady, one at a time.
69. Masturbate in front of each other. Watching her touch herself is extremely sexy, and you might learn a thing or two about what she likes and how she likes it.
70. Tell her one nice thing about her every day—could be something very small. Compliments outside of sex-time show that you’re really invested, and interested.
71. Also, never underestimate the power of a good back rub!
72. “Working out together ensures that both libidos and endorphins will be up,” says Debbie Mandel, a stress management expert and author of Addicted to Stress. “Since you’re both already sweating, take it to the next level. Stretching together is also a good idea.”
73. Upgrade your bedroom toys. There are a handful of new sex toys in the market that sync up with apps and allow you to control them remotely from your phone. You know how this opens a world of possibilities, right?
74. Slowly, and with a lot of lube, try anal sex. Don’t thrust deep, and be extremely gentle. If done right, anal sex doesn’t need to hurt.
75. Ask her to give you a lesson in kissing… practical, of course! It’s a win-win situation. Learn from her and then show her what’ve you learnt. Let her judge how you fared.
76. Want your woman to enjoy a life-size vibrator? The washing machine is your best bet. Once you’ve overcome logistics, sex on the washing machine can be truly explosive, as it produces strong vibrations, especially in the drying cycle. Sit on the washer and make her sit on top and enter her from behind. She won’t stop wanting more.
77. With time, couples stop communicating in bed and sex tends to become like just another activity. Sex therapist Williams Lucena, says the idea is to break this shackle and get your initial mojo back on. “Ask each other, ‘What do I need in bed from you?’” he suggests. “Get back to the communication you used to have.”
78. People who have more sex are considered more attractive by their partners—according to a new study published in Psychological Science. Now these are the kind of studies we love.
79. It’s a known fact that a woman’s body takes more time to get aroused, as compared to us, lesser mortals. Which is why
Dr. Britton says it’s important to keep going back to basics. “Keep going back to kissing, and make it an ongoing part of the sexual act—not just foreplay,” Britton says. It sounds mundane, and kissing is an important activity for women.
80. Take turns to be the centre of attention. Mark out days that will belong only to her and days that will be yours. Or keep it spontaneous. Just when things are about to get heavy, whisper “Today I will make it your day.”
81. Try this: next time you go down on her, lie horizontal (perpendicular to her) so when you lick, your tongue will go across her clit. “In one study I conducted, 50% of women had more rapid and more intense orgasms from that position,” says Britton.
82. Don’t underestimate the power of spooning. In a survey, 78% women confessed that they absolutely love it when their partner spoons them. Table manners, gents.
83. Ditch technology in your bedroom. Make a pact to not check your emails or phone in your bedroom, no matter what. Spend time, the old school way. It’ll not only help you connect with each other, the sex will be without any beep or messenger sounds.
84. Two words—silk & lace!
85. According to a study done by the University of Texas, having two to three cups of coffee everyday can reduce your chances of suffering from erectile dysfunction by a massive 42%.
86. Next time you try doggy—“rock, don’t pound,” says behavioral neuroscientist Barry Komisaruk, Ph.D.
87. While women have confessed that they can have orgasms from their vagina, clitoris, cervix and nipples individually, combine two or more spots at once and you’ll be the guy she brags to her friends about.
88. Next time you wanna know how or what she likes in bed, ask her to show and tell. “You can say things like, ‘Touch yourself and show me what you like.’ That can be really erotic,” says sexologist Jessica O’Reilly.
89. According to a Harvard report, men who ejaculated more than 21 times a month had a 20% lower risk of prostate cancer than those who got off only four to seven times a month. Say no more!
90. Like any other skill, having great sex is also one that you need to study, learn, observe, practice and master. Check out books, or read online…there’s no education like self education.
91. While you must tell her how much she turns you on, never pressure her to orgasm. In fact, don’t constantly keep asking her if she’s reached an orgasm. “It’s a bit annoying to play Q&A when I’m almost there. Major mood kill,” says Preeti, 38.
92. Researchers say five quickies to one long, passionate, romantic session is a pretty good ratio.
93. Take time to ‘explore’ what’s going down there instead of just incessantly rubbing or poking. Gently lick her clit and slowly rub it till she reaches an orgasm.
94. “Kiss her entire breast, but ignore her nipples for a few minutes,” says O’Reilly. “Breathe over them provocatively, but don’t make any physical contact until her body is writhing. It may take some self-restraint on your part, but the build-up will be worth it when they tingle as she orgasms.”
95. Sometimes, keeping your clothes on and dry humping can be extremely hot and sexy. She loves it, too.
96. If you could say just three words to her, make them… no, not “I love you!” but “I want you!”
97. “I can’t resist when he gently grabs my thigh and starts touching me down there. The build-up makes me cringe in pleasure,” says Manini 30, student.
98. It’s a big myth that vaginal orgasms are better than clitoral orgasms. They’re both equally pleasurable. So pay attention when you’re having oral or manual sex. Build up the tension as you move along…start with gentle caresses and kissing and slowly add your tongue.
99. Build anticipation—tease, kiss, nibble, flick… there’s a whole lot to sex than just fucking!
100. Research proves that by introducing ‘date-nights’ in their routines, couples are able to have better sex. The bottom line don’t let the spark die.